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Explosive Child, The: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
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From the Back Cover
Screaming, swearing, crying, hitting, kicking, spitting, biting...these are some of the challenging behaviors we see in kids who are having difficulty meeting our expectations. These behaviors often leave parents feeling frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and desperate for answers. In this fully revised and updated book, Dr. Ross Greene helps you understand why and when your child does these things and how to respond in ways that are nonpunitive, nonadversarial, humane, and effective.Dr. Greene describes how best to:Understand the factors that contribute to challenging episodes.Identify the specific situations in which challenging episodes are likely to occur.Reduce or eliminate challenging episodes by solving the problems that cause them.Solve problems collaboratively (rather than unilaterally) and proactively (rather than reactively).Help your child develop the skills to be more flexible, solve problems, and handle frustration more adaptively.Reduce hostility and antagonism between you and your child.With Dr. Greene's practical, expert guidance, you and your child will forge a new relationship based on communication and mutual respect.
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About the Author
Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model described in this book, an approach he has researched extensively, along with colleagues throughout the world. Dr. Greene served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is currently Founding Director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance and adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech. He consults extensively to families, schools, and therapeutic facilities and lectures widely internationally. Vast free resources on the CPS approach can be found on the Lives in the Balance website (www.livesinthebalance.org).
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: HarperPb; Revised, Updated edition (May 20, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062270451
ISBN-13: 978-0062270450
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
836 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#743 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Our child isn't "explosive" but just way harder to get to do stuff than some - i.e. transition from bed to up, from TV to homework, from friend's house to car, etc. This book really helps in explaining those behaviors so they make sense and giving techniques to avoid the threats and yelling that I hate to say was getting pretty common in our house. Maybe better title: "The Explosive Parent; A New Approach for Understanding and Dealing With the Strange Person You Become sometimes when Dealing With Your Child."
I will admit it... my first 2 kids were very easy. So easy, in fact that I was lulled into a false sense of confidence about this parenting thing. I might even have to admit that I got a bit smug and yes...it's true...Judge-y. Yep. I would see parents with a child who was screaming and out of control and think something along the lines of "They only need to be consistent and set firm boundaries and then their little monster will become docile and compliant like my amazing kids..." So you have probably heard of the great scripture, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." well...all I can say is that Yikes. God is listening and God has a sense of humor. Yeah...I'm living that scripture out in a real world way with child #3. Trust me...in my mind I have apologized to every stranger I ever stood in arrogant judgement of...a million times over. I wish I could write them encouraging notes and tell them I know they have probably tried every trick in the book and to please know that their horribly behaved child is NOT a reflection of them and poor parenting (as I have eaten so much crow about!!!). I have apologized in person to the parents I know in real life for thinking they might have been missing the "magic touch" to tame their wild beast. I am now the weary, battle-scarred and infinitely more humble mom to one such wild beast...errrr rather, "explosive child."Our daughter's OT suggested this book and I'm pretty sure I sounded like really enthusiastic parishioner during a great sermon because I found myself blurting out "YES!!" "That's exactly right!" and "Amen!!" a few times...and I suddenly felt understood and human again. But, most importantly, I understood my little explosive child much better and began to learn ways to avoid her going into VAPOR LOCK and being "unreachable" and volatile.Does she still throw humiliating tantrums without regard to where we are or who might witness it? Yes. Am I still mortified in those moments and begging God to spontaneously combust me? Yes. Will that ever change...? I doubt it. lol But we are doing better now that I have a more solid understanding of her psychology and how to work with it.If you are looking at this book, perhaps it is because someone in your life (a doctor, OT, Therapist, friend, or fellow parent of an explosive child) has recommended it, so please know I am praying for you! lol I do...I pray for parents everywhere who have a child like this because it is really the hardest thing I have ever undertaken as a parent!! Please know you are not alone....and as a reformed judger, I can only say I am so so so sorry. I never knew!!! But I am humbled and wiser now...and still wondering if spontaneous combustion could save me from some of the more embarrassing locales of explosions.... :-)
At first the premise of this book is a little hard to take in, but once you do, it is a god send. It took me 2 readings to finally understand, believe, and then commit to the idea. Once I started using "Plan B" with my teen age daughter everything began to change, for the better.
I got this book two years ago for my 3 year old girl. She was frustrated, I was frustrated, and she had 2 younger siblings. We needed change. This book changed our lives. I took every word to heart. Wrote down the problems and came up with a strategy. Focused on one behavior at a time. It took months of hard work to see progress but one skill at a time has added up to a strong and amazing straight A Kindergartener who is thriving. I know her better than my other kids because of the journey we had to go threw together. The parent training I received from implementing the teachings in this book has made life so much easier for my other kids because whatever comes up, this mom has a plan. I realized today when referring this to a friend today just how far we have come. I had forgotten how hard things once more. And as I wathed her kid struggle like mine used to I couldn't help but think, that kid has amazing potential once his determination is pointed in the right direction. Yours can too. Read the book and study it like a college course. Your life and children's lives will change. Having a plan gives up hope. This is your plan.
Lots of insightful advice, but my kid got REALLY MAD when she found it on my nightstand.
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