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Product details
File Size: 668 KB
Print Length: 244 pages
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (June 15, 2010)
Publication Date: June 15, 2010
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B00GDJQNO4
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#63,604 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I really wanted to like this book. I was ready to like it. I simply didn't. For full disclosure, I'm a long-time neurodiversity advocate and an autistic adult female (26 years old).I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder after the DSM-V came out. If I had been diagnosed during the DSM-IV era, the diagnosis would have been Asperger's. I've been struggling to explain my diagnosis and how it impacts me to parents and friends, and I saw that this book was highly recommended so I thought I would give it a try. This book did not clearly communicate its target audience, so I thought that it would appeal to both teen girls and adult women on the spectrum. Really I would say the only audience that might benefit from reading this book would be recently diagnosed 11- to 13-year-old girls and their parents. Here are some of my problems with the book:- It is written in a very childlike voice, in very simple terms. This is good for people with an elementary/middle school reading level. It is not really geared toward an audience of highly intelligent and verbal autistic young adults--which is ironic, because a good portion of the book talks about how motivated and intelligent Aspies tend to be. At times it comes across as condescending. I would never give this book to my mother to read because the "Advice to Parents" sections are sometimes written in the same kind of condescending/coddling tone, and fails to address neurotypical parents in ways that are more accessible to them *as neurotypicals*--which I think is really important for books like this. The whole point, I thought, is to bridge the gap between those on the autism spectrum and those who aren't...?- At some point it posits that people with Asperger's might be psychic. It also espouses reiki, chi, and other similar New Age beliefs, including a section that talks about Aspergirls as being gifts from God. The book does not market itself as being religious or New Age, but this is very important to mention, as readers may not have these same beliefs.- The author tends to generalize her own experience to all Aspies and, despite input from several different autistic women, fails to acknowledge the differences in presentation along the entirety of the autism spectrum. For example, she perseverates on her assertion that Aspies are "emotionally immature." Perhaps she was emotionally immature, but I don't believe that is an necessary aspect of the autistic condition. I've actually had my neurotypical mother tell me things along the lines of, "you're a lot more emotionally mature at 26 than I was." Someone who spends a lot of time learning and self-reflecting can actually have a *better* handle on themselves and their issues than others do. That doesn't make the social skills deficits go away--in fact, it can actually cast them in sharp relief. The book fails to really address the root causes of social skills deficits, etc., which is unfortunate. Another example is her insistence that all girls on the spectrum struggle with selective mutism. That has never been a problem of mine, altho' I have struggled with slurred speech and stuttering, something that she relegates to the male side of the spectrum.- Further to that... while I definitely agree that men and women on the spectrum typically present in vastly different ways, she fails to properly acknowledge the overlap between so-called "male" and "female" presentations of autism--actually, come to think of it, she fails to really explore this topic at ALL, other than a bit in the appendices. I do think that my social skills are better in general than that of my autistic male peers because I was groomed and trained to be more social by society, since women are supposed to be the social ones. But I am not prone to crying meltdowns, and I do stutter. Furthermore, I have male friends with a more "female" Aspie presentation profile. What I would have liked to see is for her to have done a more thorough compare-and-contrast between the different gendered presentations, with an acknowledgement of the overlaps as well, rather than relegating all of that to the very back of the book.- Actually, you know what, in general the author has some very sadly stereotypical views of men and women. She does not question society's division of traits into "masculine" and "feminine" and does not acknowledge that stereotypes are stereotypes, but rather treats them like rules or laws of nature...- The book fails to acknowledge that some Aspergirls might not be straight. Some women might not want to romance a man! This book was published in 2010. It really should know better than this.- The personal anecdotes were a nice touch but I think they were handled poorly. They appeared at random and the quotes were sometimes very starkly divorced from their original context. I would have liked to see the text organized better. I also think that the author could have used some more hard data to back up her statements at times.- Another thing... at a certain point the author says something to the effect of, it is important to never criticize an Aspergirl. I believe that this is terrible advice. EVERYONE, autistic, neurotypical, and everything in-between, needs to be taught how to accept constructive criticism and use it to grow and better themselves. People also need to learn how to graciously deal with negative criticism--how to grow a thicker skin and block out haters and trolls and bullies when they do rear their ugly heads. I know what it's like to be super sensitive and take criticism very hard. But I use it to grow and become a better person (and, when it comes to being an aspiring artist/writer/poet, I've learned to *thrive* on criticism, as without it I would never be able to improve my art!). I wonder what kind of constructive feedback Simone had on this book and this writing project. Did she have an editor help her cut things out, improve the first few drafts, make it better? Or did she have someone coddle her and hold her hand through the entire project and say that every word she wrote was gold? I would hope it was the former. That's what writers need in order to become better writers. I think telling parents to shield their kids from criticism is very dangerous advice. (Of course, it is important for parents not to be judgmental and critical toward their children, which is a different concept altogether from never offering any constructive critique or advice.)This review is getting really long so I'm gonna cut it off here. *Unless* you're a middle-school girl (or the parent of a middle-school girl) who was JUST diagnosed and knows NOTHING about autism, and who believes or is open to spiritual/New Age stuff, and who is completely straight and believes in gender roles, then you'll want to skip out on this book for sure.
I'm a young woman on the autism spectrum and I strongly agree with the negative assessments of the current top reviews. The author believes that her own highly personal experiences as a woman on the spectrum are universal characteristics of "aspergirls", espouses unscientific and new-agey nonsense, and draws false boundaries between "masculine" and "feminine" autistic traits.There were parts of this book I identified with, mostly anecdotes smattered throughout, but as a whole I felt alienated. "Aspergirls" were described as being very naive and childlike thoughout, and while I definitely have a "silly switch" I've felt like a 35 year old since I was 15. I'm a sensitive person and tend to take people literally, but I'm also perfectly capable of accepting criticism as well as looking critically at other people and enforcing my own boundaries. One size does not fit all.The author fails to acknowledge that not everyone is straight, which felt ridiculous given that this was published in 2010 and there was an entire chapter on romantic relationships. Every single line references finding a man/husband/boyfriend (and yes, I am engaged to a woman). Also no indication that experiences of gender, including gender nonconformity, exist. Given the huge overlap between the autism and trangender communities this felt especially tone-deaf.This book seems to have been one of the earliest books on the experience of autistic women, which explains the high ratings, but I would absolutely pass on this one. The tone was totally different but as an alternative suggestion I adore Neurotribes for a deep, coherent, and sensitive exploration of autism.
I don't see how anyone of scientific mindset could tolerate this book. There is a large hunk of pseudo science, and Simone herself even said in recent blogposts that she cured her aspergers with changes in diet, blah blah etc. Reading some of this made me feel even more alienated because I seemed to be even weirder than some of the generalizations/stereotypes in this novel. That can be very harmful to many other aspies that read this and feel they cannot relate. It just reads as a feel-good book for people that want to feel self-righteous.I wanted a book based on scientific evidence comparing male/female brains with aspergers and autism. Instead I get a book filled with generalizations/stereotypes and observations performed by one person (the author) with a small sample size of women via cherry-picked quotes.
I bought this book a few weeks ago and read it with a highlighter in hand. I was amazed at how much of it resonated with me. I have not been diagnosed with Aspergers but have been suspecting for the last few years that I might be on the spectrum. I have always been socially awkward and shy; obsessive and a picky eater. I have know for a few years that the health problems I have (digestive issues, gluten intolerance, mild epilepsy, sensitive skin) are common to people on the spectrum, but in this book I recognized myself in so many other areas as well.I found reading this book to be a very emotional experience, as it brought up so many memories of difficult experiences I have been through. But I also felt almost overwhelmed with relief, as I feel like I am finally figuring out who I am.Today I have ordered one of Rudy Simone's other books, and placed a few by other authors on my wish list.I am very thankful to the author because this book has made me feel better about things.
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